Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize