I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize