I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
