she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
