this boner is exhausting
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize