She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
