i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
