They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
