I can't watch pbs sober anymore
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Shame - the story of my life.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
