Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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