Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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