please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
