I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
