i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
