what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
