Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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