so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
