I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
