I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
