idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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