THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
