i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
