You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I love having hate sex.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
