Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
