OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
