Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
