benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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