You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
