I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
