Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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