Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
