It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
