just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
