I CAN MOONWALK!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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