I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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