Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
