I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
ok first of all what the fuck
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
