and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i think i have two assholes
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
