Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
