I'm jealous of your bromance
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
