but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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