She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
