some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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