I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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