we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize