Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
