Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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