fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
