i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
