well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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