in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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