she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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