then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
