fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
