very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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