Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
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