I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
