Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
