you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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