So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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